My Self Confidence

I've been doing a few things lately to try and work on my self confidence. I'm trying to relearn what makes me feel good about myself.  Its a work in progress for sure! I am far from perfect at it, but I know its a step I really need to work on for Intuitive Eating to work for me.

So, here are some moments that make me feel good about myself:

1) When I'm teaching a swim lesson and the kid I'm working with turns a corner and realizes that they love to swim and that they CAN do it!

2) When I'm sitting at a piano spending some good quality time practicing, using my brain and my fingers, and especially when I conquer a difficult section.

3) When I'm singing. I love when I can sing out loud and strong, when I can feel the emotion of a song, or when I can sing a song with my kids, and put a smile on their faces.

4) When I finish a good book.

5) When I host a successful party, when I am surrounded by happy people who are glad to be there. (Let's not talk about hosting a flop party, that tears me up inside a little)

6) When I find a hobby that interests me and gives me something to do that is mine, something for me. Right now I'm throwing myself back into Photography. I've always found photography interesting and fascinating. I love learning how the camera works, and capturing moments in time. I took a class in high school, and I've taken a few workshops here and there, but this time i'm determined to get it figured out, at least enough to feel confident taking pictures of my kids. Ryan got me a new camera and a couple lenses for Mother's Day. I took a week long class this past week, i'm taking a lighting workshop tomorrow, and I'm signed up for a 6-week photography course starting in July. I'm really hoping this will be one that sticks with me and gives me that confidence behind the camera i've been hoping for. I actually really want to take a 4 month course I found that would make me an actual certified professional photographer. I'm not sure i'd ever want a full time business doing it, but I would love to be able to confidently take pictures if people ask me to! Its an expensive class, but if this shorter course goes well, I think I'm going to save up for me. I think doing that would be very good for me.

7) When I finish a hard workout, especially a long bike ride, or a tough climb, or a run.

8) When I have good mom moments. When the kids and I are happy and smiling. When we are interacting and I can see their love for me, and I can feel my heart bursting with love for them.

There are a lot of moments when I'm happy, when I'm good with the way my life is going and I'm happy. And usually those moments don't have anything to do with my body. I let my worries about my body take over and steal the joy from those moments too often. Thats so wrong! So what if I have a belly roll when I'm sitting at the piano, that doesn't change my talent. So what if I'm not wearing size 4 skinny jeans while i'm taking a photo or playing with my kids? I need to focus more on the happy moments, on my talents, on what I want out of life, and less on what I see in the mirror, and what the number says on the scale or my clothes. Those things should not control my happiness, when so many more important things can do that.