Ok, so I like to keep it real here. Its obviously been a while since I've posted, and that's mostly because I haven't been in my best head space.
We moved into a new house in late November, that was a lot of upheaval. Then we almost immediately started renovations on the new house, that included parts of the kitchen. So of course we ate out a lot, and our routines were very disturbed. I added an hour and half of drive time to the kids schools to my day after the move so my days got very busy and I got very stressed! So...fast forward 6 months...I've gained 15 pounds. Ugh. I know its not the end of the world. I've still been exercising, just not as religiously. My fitness level is not where it used to be, but its not terrible. I've been slowly working on getting all my good habits back, and I know I will get there, but i've made some work for myself. Oh well! Life has its ups and downs. Fitness is a journey, a life long journey, I won't always be in the top shape of my life. And that's ok, its not the most important thing in life. I'm still being active, i'm still doing my best to be a good example to my kids.
So now what? We are going to the Bahamas in 3 months, so I have a timeline and some goals! I also have the Larson Cup triathlon and the JDRF century coming up this summer, so that gives me some focus for my workouts. I'm getting back on the bandwagon, but trying to keep a healthy perspective on food, and on my body. My body will always be imperfect and that's ok! But I can take baby steps back to the best shape of my life!
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Monday, December 29, 2014
Here's the problem...
OK, so I need a place I can write out my thought process with my training and why I am struggling to much to come up with workable goals.
I've had a goal for several years now of reaching my "goal weight" and that has morphed into reaching my goal body fat percentage. I want to be healthy, fit, lean and strong. I know that the best way for me to achieve that goal is regular strength training, watching my macros, and doing some smart interval training. It seems simple enough, but the problem is, I love my cardio events too much!
Triathlon is what got me started. My family triathlon started lots of years ago, I went from watching, to participating as a relay, to completing the whole tri. I loved it. It gave me motivation, it helped me not get bored because I had so many disciplines to work on, and I enjoyed it. But it never gave me the body I wanted.
Also, I never felt like a good runner. It has always bugged me to not conquer the sport of running and feel like a runner. I've tried several times and every time i've ended up injured and frustrated. And I hate that it continually beats me. I'm in a good place with running right now. I'm still battling IT band syndrome, but I feel like I have tools to help me work through that, and cardio wise I'm running better than ever. I'm still only running 2-3 miles at a time, but that's a lot better than i've done in years, and I hate to let go of any of that progress. But at the same time i'm afraid to set the goal of a half marathon and be disappointed yet again if my body doesn't let me get there. But I don't want to let it go and get back to square 1, for the millionth time.
Then there is cycling. I began to have a love for cycling. Its funny how it happened, because I remember telling people that cycling would never be "my thing". But then suddenly it became my thing 2 years ago. I think mostly that happened because I found the JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes. It gave my workouts focus beyond races or weight loss. I loved having a purpose. But at the same time, part of me is always afraid on the bike. I hear about too many accidents, too many injuries. I have truly loved what cycling has done for me, mostly bringing me to my JDRF family, but it still makes me nervous. But, I've been able to see my improvement a lot, and I love that. I've gained a lot of cycling friends and I love being a part of that world and I hate the idea of not going to my favorite rides. And I really hate the idea of not riding with my JDRF team. So I'm not sure I could ever give it up. But centuries involve a lot of training and preparation.
Swimming. I was born to swim. I love being in the water. I was pretty darn good at it in high school, and although I'm not as good as I once was, its a place where I can thrive and get better when I put the time into it. The struggle there is that its the hardest thing for me to fit in. But whenever I go back to the pool I remember how much I love it. I haven't been in the pool in months and I hate it. I know i'd be starting from scratch but a big part of me misses it so much and wants to make is a regular part of my routine. But there just isn't time for all of it!! I can't run, thrive at cycling enough to complete centuries, swim, and lift. Its too much and it won't get me too my goals because i'll be spread too thin.
See my dilemma? The things I love won't get me to my goals. But I want to reach my goals so badly. Races keep me focused and give me deadlines. But races don't help me reach my overall goals. I want to do it all, but I know doing it all really sabotages everything. UGH. Its so hard! I've always struggled with finding focus and I'm really struggling this time. What to do???
I've had a goal for several years now of reaching my "goal weight" and that has morphed into reaching my goal body fat percentage. I want to be healthy, fit, lean and strong. I know that the best way for me to achieve that goal is regular strength training, watching my macros, and doing some smart interval training. It seems simple enough, but the problem is, I love my cardio events too much!
Triathlon is what got me started. My family triathlon started lots of years ago, I went from watching, to participating as a relay, to completing the whole tri. I loved it. It gave me motivation, it helped me not get bored because I had so many disciplines to work on, and I enjoyed it. But it never gave me the body I wanted.
Also, I never felt like a good runner. It has always bugged me to not conquer the sport of running and feel like a runner. I've tried several times and every time i've ended up injured and frustrated. And I hate that it continually beats me. I'm in a good place with running right now. I'm still battling IT band syndrome, but I feel like I have tools to help me work through that, and cardio wise I'm running better than ever. I'm still only running 2-3 miles at a time, but that's a lot better than i've done in years, and I hate to let go of any of that progress. But at the same time i'm afraid to set the goal of a half marathon and be disappointed yet again if my body doesn't let me get there. But I don't want to let it go and get back to square 1, for the millionth time.
Then there is cycling. I began to have a love for cycling. Its funny how it happened, because I remember telling people that cycling would never be "my thing". But then suddenly it became my thing 2 years ago. I think mostly that happened because I found the JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes. It gave my workouts focus beyond races or weight loss. I loved having a purpose. But at the same time, part of me is always afraid on the bike. I hear about too many accidents, too many injuries. I have truly loved what cycling has done for me, mostly bringing me to my JDRF family, but it still makes me nervous. But, I've been able to see my improvement a lot, and I love that. I've gained a lot of cycling friends and I love being a part of that world and I hate the idea of not going to my favorite rides. And I really hate the idea of not riding with my JDRF team. So I'm not sure I could ever give it up. But centuries involve a lot of training and preparation.
Swimming. I was born to swim. I love being in the water. I was pretty darn good at it in high school, and although I'm not as good as I once was, its a place where I can thrive and get better when I put the time into it. The struggle there is that its the hardest thing for me to fit in. But whenever I go back to the pool I remember how much I love it. I haven't been in the pool in months and I hate it. I know i'd be starting from scratch but a big part of me misses it so much and wants to make is a regular part of my routine. But there just isn't time for all of it!! I can't run, thrive at cycling enough to complete centuries, swim, and lift. Its too much and it won't get me too my goals because i'll be spread too thin.
See my dilemma? The things I love won't get me to my goals. But I want to reach my goals so badly. Races keep me focused and give me deadlines. But races don't help me reach my overall goals. I want to do it all, but I know doing it all really sabotages everything. UGH. Its so hard! I've always struggled with finding focus and I'm really struggling this time. What to do???
What do I want from 2015?
Ok, so life got away from me. We have had a crazy crazy winter so far! Blogging dropped pretty low on the priority list. We bought a new house and moved in the day after Thanksgiving! Its been a whirl wind month of holiday festivities, driving around, moving, unpacking, decorating, the list of craziness goes on! But its been great. I'm sad to say that the fitness part of my life has taken a bit of a back seat too, but I'm working on getting my routine back. I never fell completely off the wagon (except with my diet, we've pretty much eaten out everyday for a month. Ugh!), but I definitely wasn't working out 6 days a week! I'm still trying to figure out my new schedule, and of course the kids are out of school right now so that doesn't help, and we are going to finish the basement starting right away, so I don't have a workout space at home right now, so its complicated! But i'll get there. Right now i'm taking a lot of time to think about what I want out of 2015, my goals are always morphing, but i'm trying to push myself and still have the goals be reachable and help me feel better about myself....I'll post them when i'm defined what I want. Tricky, tricky. But here's to another Fit and Fabulous year!
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
A Little Stronger Every Day
Week 7 Day 2/3- 5:00 Warm-up, 25:00 Jog, 5:00 Cool-down
Monday we ran day 2, we did it separately on the treadmill because it was cold outside and Ryan had a cold (I have it now) and we didn't think running in the cold was a good idea for us. The treadmill was a bit miserable, but we both conquered it.
I planned an easier route for today, Day 3. Usually our route is a loop that has a little downhill, a little uphill, and a little flat. I planned a mostly downhill course today, nothing too crazy, just a slight downhill for most of the way. I felt like we had earned an easier run to celebrate finishing week 7! We felt pretty good and strong, even with the head colds. We ran 2.35 miles in the 25 minutes, we are still certainly not fast, but it was a faster average than usual for us. This Saturday is our 5k. A week early for the Couch to 5k schedule, but I think it will go pretty well. Its a flat course. We have been trying to decide how we want to attack it. I kinda want to try to run the whole thing, but we've also talked about walk/jogging the first half mile and then running the rest, since that should put us close to the 28 minute run that would be next on our Couch to 5k agenda. We'll see how the day goes. I'm excited that I feel mostly ready for it. My goal is to get to being able to run a slow 5k, and then work on my speed. I've signed up for a couple virtual races and will reward myself with the medals as I hit new PR's for pace on my 5k distance. Then, I will work on building mileage for a 10k in January if I'm still feeling healthy. My legs did great today, thanks to the Graston, ART, and acupuncture I've been doing with Dr. Tom. Yay for progress! Yay for a little more endurace! Yay for just a tad more speed. I will take it!
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Monday we ran day 2, we did it separately on the treadmill because it was cold outside and Ryan had a cold (I have it now) and we didn't think running in the cold was a good idea for us. The treadmill was a bit miserable, but we both conquered it.
I planned an easier route for today, Day 3. Usually our route is a loop that has a little downhill, a little uphill, and a little flat. I planned a mostly downhill course today, nothing too crazy, just a slight downhill for most of the way. I felt like we had earned an easier run to celebrate finishing week 7! We felt pretty good and strong, even with the head colds. We ran 2.35 miles in the 25 minutes, we are still certainly not fast, but it was a faster average than usual for us. This Saturday is our 5k. A week early for the Couch to 5k schedule, but I think it will go pretty well. Its a flat course. We have been trying to decide how we want to attack it. I kinda want to try to run the whole thing, but we've also talked about walk/jogging the first half mile and then running the rest, since that should put us close to the 28 minute run that would be next on our Couch to 5k agenda. We'll see how the day goes. I'm excited that I feel mostly ready for it. My goal is to get to being able to run a slow 5k, and then work on my speed. I've signed up for a couple virtual races and will reward myself with the medals as I hit new PR's for pace on my 5k distance. Then, I will work on building mileage for a 10k in January if I'm still feeling healthy. My legs did great today, thanks to the Graston, ART, and acupuncture I've been doing with Dr. Tom. Yay for progress! Yay for a little more endurace! Yay for just a tad more speed. I will take it!
Friday, October 24, 2014
Still Running!
Week 6 Day 2- Run 10:00 Walk 3:00 Run 10:00
Week 6 Day 3- Run 22:00
Week 7 Day 1- Run 25:00
Week 6, Day 2 went well, 10 minute chunks feel much more doable now, which is awesome! This was the final day of couch to 5k that allows walk breaks! Crazy that we have gotten this far.
Week 6, Day 3 was a challenging. We tried a different route than usual, thinking it would be easier for a sustained jog, but I think it was a bad idea. I really struggled. I ended up taking a short walk break twice, which was frustrating to me. My achilles were really tight and sore and I was a little mad when the run was over. But, right after the run I had an appointment with Dr. Tom my sports medicine doctor. I told him where the pain was, and he did his usual magic and then suggested trying acupuncture on my achilles. I have had acupuncture before and handled it fine, so I thought it was worth a shot. It hurt a lot more than the previous acupuncture, it wasn't the placing of the needle that hurt, but once he started prodding around at the knots in my calves it was pretty painful. Once he finished it was sore and got progressively more sore over the next few hours, I was pretty sure he maimed me! Luckily he had warned me it would be like that, so I trusted him. Ryan and I decided to repeat Day 3 on our next run, and the difference was night and day! I felt amazing. My achilles didn't hurt at all. The were a little tight during the run still, but there was no screaming, especially when I stopped to walk at the end for the cool down, no screaming! It was a miracle. We ran 2 miles without stopping!
Today we did Week 7, Day1, we ran for 25 minutes, 2.25 miles! I was so excited. I still felt really good. We average about 11:00 minute miles, not fast, but we can sustain it which is amazing. My achilles felt pretty good still today, my IT band was a bit tight today, but I'm staying on top of it. I'm finally feeling like this might actually be a real possibility for me. I might be able to keep running!
I had my gait analyzed again and found some more tweaks to make, but overall i'm feeling great and happy!
Week 6 Day 3- Run 22:00
Week 7 Day 1- Run 25:00
Week 6, Day 2 went well, 10 minute chunks feel much more doable now, which is awesome! This was the final day of couch to 5k that allows walk breaks! Crazy that we have gotten this far.
Week 6, Day 3 was a challenging. We tried a different route than usual, thinking it would be easier for a sustained jog, but I think it was a bad idea. I really struggled. I ended up taking a short walk break twice, which was frustrating to me. My achilles were really tight and sore and I was a little mad when the run was over. But, right after the run I had an appointment with Dr. Tom my sports medicine doctor. I told him where the pain was, and he did his usual magic and then suggested trying acupuncture on my achilles. I have had acupuncture before and handled it fine, so I thought it was worth a shot. It hurt a lot more than the previous acupuncture, it wasn't the placing of the needle that hurt, but once he started prodding around at the knots in my calves it was pretty painful. Once he finished it was sore and got progressively more sore over the next few hours, I was pretty sure he maimed me! Luckily he had warned me it would be like that, so I trusted him. Ryan and I decided to repeat Day 3 on our next run, and the difference was night and day! I felt amazing. My achilles didn't hurt at all. The were a little tight during the run still, but there was no screaming, especially when I stopped to walk at the end for the cool down, no screaming! It was a miracle. We ran 2 miles without stopping!
Today we did Week 7, Day1, we ran for 25 minutes, 2.25 miles! I was so excited. I still felt really good. We average about 11:00 minute miles, not fast, but we can sustain it which is amazing. My achilles felt pretty good still today, my IT band was a bit tight today, but I'm staying on top of it. I'm finally feeling like this might actually be a real possibility for me. I might be able to keep running!
I had my gait analyzed again and found some more tweaks to make, but overall i'm feeling great and happy!
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Week 6, Day 1- And a Fitness update
5:00 Warm-up, 5:00 Jog, 3:00 Walk, 8:00 Jog, 3:00 Walk, 5:00 Jog, 5:00 Cool-down
This run seemed kind of like a nice reprieve after the 20 minute run earlier in the week. It was still hard though. But, I was glad to be back outside with Ryan! My achilles were super mad after the long run, which was annoying, but I recovered well. The runs get longer and longer from this point, so I'm a little nervous, but excited to be making real progress. I'm seeing my sports medicine guy once a week right now to make sure I stay on top of possible injuries, but I think I'm doing well at this point!
I thought I would take a second now to talk about the rest of my fitness journey as it stands right now. I'm kind of at a weird crossroads right now that I can't really figure out in my head. I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am right now, and where I want to be. I'm generally happy with my fitness level. I can go out on a long bike ride, no problem. I can workout 6 days a week, several of those days being double workouts, and i'm great. My run is improving, I'm lifting a little heavier all the time, but somehow, I've plateaued again, or possibly even gone backwards a little bit. I feel a bit fluffy. I know its my diet. I've been really really struggling with finding my nutrition niche again. I have spent the entirety of this year tracking my food pretty meticulously, and I think I just hit major burnout. I haven't seen a big drop on the scale or body fat %, and its hard to be that careful and think about food so much without seeing big changes (I did see a big drop from January to April, and then have bounced around since then). I get to the point where thinking about food all of the time makes me crazy and pushes me off the deep end. I end up binging on junky food because i'm frustrated. Which I know is the total wrong thing to do. I get annoyed at myself because I have learned a lot about nutrition. I know the kinds of foods to eat, I know the combinations of food to eat, I know what serving sizes look like. I know how to eat. But for some reason I don't trust myself, so I track everything and then beat myself up every time I slip up. Or I do the most silly thing and don't put the junk food into my food diary, like it doesn't count if I don't write it down. Ha! I'm sad that i've let myself slip back so far from when I was at my best this year. I know there was a point this year where I was eating mostly healthy, having an occasional treat, feeling satisfied, and feeling happy with myself and my body. I know there is a sweet spot for me, I just really can't seem to find it right now. I've been eating terribly for the past couple of weeks, and I can tell! But i've just been so frustrated. I even went and talked to my doctor and asked him to check my thyroid and all my hormones and stuff and see if there is something physical that is making it so hard for me to break through difficult plateaus. My blood work came back completely normal and healthy. I can't be sad about that, but it is frustrating to know that there is no easy fix for whatever this is.
So the questions I've been asking myself are 1) How badly do you want to hit that body fat % goal? 2) What are you willing to sacrifice for it? 3) Is there a point where you just learn to be content where you are and stop stressing about it all so much? 4) Can you find a happy medium between relaxing and still moving forward to your fitness and body fat goals?
I don't have any answers. I'm really trying to spend some time to get my head straight. To figure out what the answers are. To find my happy spot where I can stop beating myself up so much. The place where I can love myself as I am ,but still have forward moving goals. I know that place exists. I just haven't found it yet. I think running is helping me, its something that has been impossible for me to conquer and now i'm making good strides toward conquering it. So I just need to do the same in the nutrition realm. So that's where i'm at right now. My brain is a little muddled, but I'll keep working on it.
This run seemed kind of like a nice reprieve after the 20 minute run earlier in the week. It was still hard though. But, I was glad to be back outside with Ryan! My achilles were super mad after the long run, which was annoying, but I recovered well. The runs get longer and longer from this point, so I'm a little nervous, but excited to be making real progress. I'm seeing my sports medicine guy once a week right now to make sure I stay on top of possible injuries, but I think I'm doing well at this point!
I thought I would take a second now to talk about the rest of my fitness journey as it stands right now. I'm kind of at a weird crossroads right now that I can't really figure out in my head. I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am right now, and where I want to be. I'm generally happy with my fitness level. I can go out on a long bike ride, no problem. I can workout 6 days a week, several of those days being double workouts, and i'm great. My run is improving, I'm lifting a little heavier all the time, but somehow, I've plateaued again, or possibly even gone backwards a little bit. I feel a bit fluffy. I know its my diet. I've been really really struggling with finding my nutrition niche again. I have spent the entirety of this year tracking my food pretty meticulously, and I think I just hit major burnout. I haven't seen a big drop on the scale or body fat %, and its hard to be that careful and think about food so much without seeing big changes (I did see a big drop from January to April, and then have bounced around since then). I get to the point where thinking about food all of the time makes me crazy and pushes me off the deep end. I end up binging on junky food because i'm frustrated. Which I know is the total wrong thing to do. I get annoyed at myself because I have learned a lot about nutrition. I know the kinds of foods to eat, I know the combinations of food to eat, I know what serving sizes look like. I know how to eat. But for some reason I don't trust myself, so I track everything and then beat myself up every time I slip up. Or I do the most silly thing and don't put the junk food into my food diary, like it doesn't count if I don't write it down. Ha! I'm sad that i've let myself slip back so far from when I was at my best this year. I know there was a point this year where I was eating mostly healthy, having an occasional treat, feeling satisfied, and feeling happy with myself and my body. I know there is a sweet spot for me, I just really can't seem to find it right now. I've been eating terribly for the past couple of weeks, and I can tell! But i've just been so frustrated. I even went and talked to my doctor and asked him to check my thyroid and all my hormones and stuff and see if there is something physical that is making it so hard for me to break through difficult plateaus. My blood work came back completely normal and healthy. I can't be sad about that, but it is frustrating to know that there is no easy fix for whatever this is.
So the questions I've been asking myself are 1) How badly do you want to hit that body fat % goal? 2) What are you willing to sacrifice for it? 3) Is there a point where you just learn to be content where you are and stop stressing about it all so much? 4) Can you find a happy medium between relaxing and still moving forward to your fitness and body fat goals?
I don't have any answers. I'm really trying to spend some time to get my head straight. To figure out what the answers are. To find my happy spot where I can stop beating myself up so much. The place where I can love myself as I am ,but still have forward moving goals. I know that place exists. I just haven't found it yet. I think running is helping me, its something that has been impossible for me to conquer and now i'm making good strides toward conquering it. So I just need to do the same in the nutrition realm. So that's where i'm at right now. My brain is a little muddled, but I'll keep working on it.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Week 5: Day 3!!
5:00 Warm-up, 20:00 Jog, 5:00 Cool-Down
We did it! We did Day 3! It seemed so daunting, but we did it! Sad thing is, we had to do it separately, and on the treadmill. Boo! But this morning Ryan had to leave for a meeting, and it was pretty cold outside, and the kids had no school today, so there just wasn't time to run outside together. Ryan got it done this morning, and I was so so proud of him, so I knew I needed to tackle it. I had a busy morning with my leg doctor, and errands with the kids, so I had to wait until the afternoon. I just bought another new pair of shoes (Hoka Clifton) and wanted to give them a real try, I did 8 minutes in them on Saturday to try them out and felt great, so I decided to wear them for today's run. I would be lying if I didn't say it was hard. I don't enjoy running on the treadmill much these days now that I've been running outside more, and I went to my leg doctor this morning and got my IT band and achilles worked over, so they were a little sore to begin with. But, I did it. I had to take a quick break in the middle while I answered an important text (couldn't do it while running), but I jumped right back in and finished the 20 minutes. It was slow! 11:20-12:00 pace. But that's ok, its still almost 2 miles! Right now its about endurance and not hurting myself, its not about speed! Thus my new headband. :) Slow and steady wins the race!
We did it! We did Day 3! It seemed so daunting, but we did it! Sad thing is, we had to do it separately, and on the treadmill. Boo! But this morning Ryan had to leave for a meeting, and it was pretty cold outside, and the kids had no school today, so there just wasn't time to run outside together. Ryan got it done this morning, and I was so so proud of him, so I knew I needed to tackle it. I had a busy morning with my leg doctor, and errands with the kids, so I had to wait until the afternoon. I just bought another new pair of shoes (Hoka Clifton) and wanted to give them a real try, I did 8 minutes in them on Saturday to try them out and felt great, so I decided to wear them for today's run. I would be lying if I didn't say it was hard. I don't enjoy running on the treadmill much these days now that I've been running outside more, and I went to my leg doctor this morning and got my IT band and achilles worked over, so they were a little sore to begin with. But, I did it. I had to take a quick break in the middle while I answered an important text (couldn't do it while running), but I jumped right back in and finished the 20 minutes. It was slow! 11:20-12:00 pace. But that's ok, its still almost 2 miles! Right now its about endurance and not hurting myself, its not about speed! Thus my new headband. :) Slow and steady wins the race!
I'm not sure if i've mentioned my current workout schedule, but I also lift on the days that I run, so after dealing more with the kids for a bit, I went back down to my workout room and knocked out my lifting session. I HATE afternoon workouts, but I'm so glad I got it done. I had a BAD eating weekend, so today is back on track and on top of life. I'm determined. :)
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